The Tale of the Two "Thirsty" Sgt's.
 


Two certain Sgt's returned to Buffalo after an 8 week op and as to be expected they were extremely thirsty. As normal, at the NCO's mess at around 22h00, Tollie the barman rang the bell for the last round. Amid howls of protest and un-printable adjectives, Tollie was called over by the 2 "thirsty" Sgt's and instructed that he'd better keep serving "dop" as long as they wanted (this practice was standard except when senior officers and SM's were in the vicinity).

Unbeknown to the 2 "thirsty" Sgt's, lurking in the shadows, underneath the dart board without the light on, sat SM Pep sipping gently on a Red Heart and Coke. He had obviously over heard the threats and demands and was instantly aware of the 2 "thirsty" Sgt's ardent desire to consume copious amounts of alcohol for as long as humanely possible !!

He called the 2 culprits over and asked them in his express way of speaking whether they wanted to drink, to which they both enthusiastically agreed.
After confirming the 2 "thirsty" Sgt's imminent desires, he ordered every one (except the 2) to finish up their drinks, to leave the mess and return to the lines.

Without reserve, SM Pep ordered from Tollie the barman the following;

3 x bottles of Red Heart.
6 x Cokes (remember Cokes, beers and other type cool drinks were only available in cans).

The 2 "thirsty" Sgt's were delighted with their windfall and proceeded to indulge to their "Hearts" (excuse the pun) content. Once the 2 cans of Coke were finished it was down to the hard stuff and SM Pep offered NO mercy to the 2 "thirsty" Sgt's. After the 2 had completed the task at "Heart" and after much laughter, dronk verdriet and falling around it was time to return to the lines in their very giddy state, task complete !!

The time now was around 03h00 or 04h00 and for the first time in this story, SM Pep showed a bit of mercy to the 2 and offered them the loan his Garrie which was in tip-top condition as only Pep could arrange. It was the best Garrie in the whole of Sector 2 zero and the envy of everyone including "Falcon". His instructions were that it was to be returned after breakfast, before parade.

Well the 2 drove off very gratefully towards the lines, when they arrived at the parade ground a sudden madness overtook them and they proceeded to practice a series of reckless hand-break turns on the parade ground. Not satisfied with this irresponsible / destructive madness, the passenger Sgt decided he needed to hear the sound of breaking glass and proceeded to kick in and break every piece of breakable glass (windows & rear view mirrors) aboard SM Pep's beautiful and well maintained Garrie - BIG BIG mistake !!!

The damaged Garrie was returned un-noticed to the NCO's mess before breakfast by a Shanghaied, terrified driver.

The 2 guilty Sgt's disappeared and were not seen in the mess again for over a week. The whole of Buffalo went around whispering and SM Pep went around Buffalo ops normal in his damaged Garrie. One day a message was sent to the lines in which SM Pep instructed that if the 2 guilty Sgt's knew what was good for them he expected them to report for dinner that evening, after all, soldiers require cooked food not rat-packs all the time.

The 2 terrified, guilty "thirsty" Sgt's duly reported to the mess that evening (sommer dressed in their best "step-out", ironed Browns) initially SM Pep was no-where to be seen and the 2 thought that they were going to survive another day. After grub and after a few controlled beers, just before the bell was due to be rung by Tollie the barman, SM Pep made his entrance !!

There was mass terror and an immediate "bombshelled" exodus of the NCO's mess, the 2 "thirsty" Sgts were left behind to nervously face their destiny, SM Pep van Zyl. He calmly enquired what had happened to his "pride & Joy", amid much mumbling and incoherent answering, SM Pep came to the conclusion that the 2 had been attacked by the most severe case of "Buffalo fever" that he had ever encountered before and for the second time in this story, SM Pep offered some mercy to the guilty 2 "thirsty Sgt's !!

He calmly instructed the 2 "thirsty" Sgt's that before parade the next day, his "pride & joy" the envy of the whole of Sector 2 zero had better be fixed and repaired. Every piece of glass that had been broken was to be replaced and he didn't care where these items came from or off whose Garrie these pieces came either, including "Falcons". After confirming from the partners in crime whether they fully understood what was expected from them and equally whether they understood the severe consequences in failure of his explicit instructions,

He ordered the following from Tollie the barman;

3 x Bottles of Red Heart
6 x Cokes.
 

By Rick Lobb                                         

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